The Great Muppet Caper-Reboot

Chap. 2-Fired: Back in the office of the Daily Chronicle, the boss, Mr. Mike Tarkanian, was staring at the cover story his recently-hired six reporters submitted into the newspaper: TWO PAIRS OF IDENTICAL TWINS JOIN CHRONICLE STAFF. The pictures under the headline were the ones Gonzo and Fiona took earlier; one of Kermit and Fozzie smiling, and the other of Abby and Leah, also smiling.

Mr. Tarkanian slammed the newspaper down on his desk, shouting, “How could you miss a story like that?!” causing the six reporters to jump.

“It was right under your noses! Practically bit you in the seat of the pants! There’s just no excuse!” he ranted.

“I guess now would be the wrong time to ask for a raise,” Fozzie whimpered.

“Raise? A raise?! I’ll give you a raise!” Mr. Tarkanian snapped, slamming his hand down on his desk, causing the six Muppets to jump again.

“Have you read these headlines?” the man asked the group, holding up several newspapers from rival newspaper companies. He read a headline from The Express: “‘JEWEL HEIST ON MAIN STREET’. It’s in nice bold print, isn’t it.”

“Yes, it’s very easy to read,” Kermit commented.

Mr. Tarkanian glared at the frog and said, “Shut up now.”

“Sorry,” Kermit apologized.

“‘LADY HOLIDAY’S JEWELS STOLEN’ is what it said in The Times, and here’s The Herald: ‘FASHION QUEEN OF LONDON ROBBED’,” Mr. Tarkanian went on. Then, he grabbed the copy of the current Daily Chronicle. “And last but not least, here’s our cute little banner story: ‘TWO PAIRS OF IDENTICAL TWINS JOIN CHRONICLE STAFF’. Now I ask you; what paper would you buy?”

The six thought to themselves until Abby said, “I’d read any one that talks about the Ravens.”

Mr. Tarkanian cried out in annoyance as he slammed his fist down on his desk, this time causing Gonzo and Fiona to jump so high they clung to the hanging light fixture above them.

“Gee, Mr. Tarkanian, we thought two pairs of identical twins working for a newspaper would make an interesting story,” Kermit said.

“Yeah,” Fozzie said, taking off his hat nervously.

“Well, it doesn’t. Especially since neither of you pairs look anything alike!” Mr. Tarkanian pointed out.

“Uh, that’s because Fozzie’s not wearing his hat. Fozzie, put your hat back on,” Kermit said.

“Oh,” Fozzie said, put his headwear back on. “See.” He and Kermit smiled.

“Oh yeah, I can see it now, but what about you two?” Mr. Tarkanian asked Leah and Abby.

“Well, Leah looks more like me if she has a pair of shades on,” Abby stated.

“And Abby got a haircut last week. Before it was the same length as mine,” Leah threw in.

“Makes sense, but that’s still no excuse for blowing the story!” Mr. Tarkanian snapped.

“We’ll do better next time,” Fozzie promised.

“Next time? Next time!” the boss shouted, slamming his hand on the desk causing the heroes to jump again. “What makes you think there’s going to be a next time?!”

“Because if there isn’t, this is going to be a really short reboot,” Abby answered.

“Listen, the only reason I hired you jerks is because you guys’ father and you girls’ mother were friends of mine,” Mr. Tarkanian stated, showing the group a picture of him standing with a green bear and a woman that had light blue skin, lavender hair, and sunglasses.

“Dad spoke well of you, too,” Fozzie stated.

“So did Mom,” Leah added.

“Yeah, well, I’m as sentimental as the next guy, that’s why I don’t want them to hear this,” Mr. Tarkanian said, shoving the photo into his desk. He glared at the group and said, “You’re fired.”

Kermit, Fozzie, Abby and Leah gasped in shock. They were fired? On their first day on the job?! Surely there’s something they can do to keep working for the Daily Chronicle!

“And get those things down from there,” Mr. Tarkanian told the group, pointing at Gonzo and Fiona who were still hanging around, as he walked away from his desk.

“But Mr. Tarkanian,” Kermit and Leah said, following their now-former boss.

“Gonzo,” Fozzie said.

“Fiona,” Abby added.

“Check,” the two whatevers said before releasing the light fixture and falling to the floor, where they both landed perfectly on their feet.

“Won’t you listen to reason, sir?” Kermit asked the man.

“I’m not listening to anything, and I’m not giving you your jobs back,” Mr. Tarkanian stated.

“We don’t want you to give us anything, we just want to go London,” Kermit explained.

“Yeah,” Leah added. “And we’ll interview Lady Holiday, the woman who was robbed, and maybe we’ll catch those jewel thieves for you.”

“See, all you have to do is pay our way to London,” Kermit finished.

“Oh, is that all I have to do,” Mr. Tarkanian said sarcastically, just when Gonzo and Fiona snapped pictures of him, blinding him for a moment because of the flashes.

“Well, we could use some new luggage for the trip,” Fozzie said.

“Luggage!” Mr. Tarkanian shouted, slamming his hand on a table, causing everyone in the room to jump. “I have a deadline to meet,” the man said, walking out of the room to his private office.

“But how are we supposed to get to London?” Kermit asked.

“I’ll tell you what, Fozzie. Since you’re just an investigative reporter, you figure it out!” Mr. Tarkanian shouted.

“I’m Fozzie,” Fozzie corrected.

“Oh, right, the hat,” Mr. Tarkanian mumbled as he shut the door.

Gonzo and Fiona took a look around the office, where everyone was calmly working, until the two whatevers shouted, “STOP THE PRESSES!”

Mr. Tarkanian ran out of his office and asked frantically, “Why? What happened?”

Gonzo answered, “We don’t know.”

“But we’ve always wanted to say that!” Fiona admitted before the duo snapped more pictures of their former boss, who just stormed back into his office.

“Well, looks like we’re jobless. What now?” Abby asked her friends as they walked out of the building.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’ll go to London and interview Lady Holiday,” Kermit said.

“But how? There’s no way all six of us can afford to go to London,” Leah stated.

“We’ll figure out a way. I think I might have a good sum of money to get us in some class on a plane,” Kermit stated.

“Yeah, don’t worry about the details, Abby. We’ll be in London ready to do our job before you know it,” Fozzie said, patting on Leah’s shoulder.

“...I’m Leah. Abby’s the one with sunglasses,” Leah corrected.

“Oh, right. Abby has sunglasses. Leah does not. I’ll try to remember that,” Fozzie said, making a note on a piece of paper.

Leah rolled her eyes as Abby slapped a hand on her forehead and fell backwards to the ground, groaning in annoyance.